Grown Up Love...

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward

I’ve been thinking about love and relationships. Blame it on Valentine’s Day. Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m not particularly “romantic.” I find the idea of a 24/7 highly passionate, all-consuming love affair, frankly, exhausting. And I’m put off by the obligatory flowers, candy, and jewelry that show up on anniversaries, birthdays, and major holidays. They’re expected…they’re graciously received…but it’s all so hollow. Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against flowers, candy and jewelry…just mechanical behavior based on social expectations. If it’s personal, genuine and sincere, then bring it on!

The thing is, I really do believe in love. But when I look around, I feel a little sad for relationships. Why? Because everyone is so fearful and tentative about commitment these days. Because everyone is so confused about their “roles.” Because relationships are more about “what’s in it for me?” or “what am I going to miss out on if I commit?” or “what is this going to cost me in the long run?” Because everyone makes it so damned complicated!

I hear guys talk about their wives, girlfriends, and “other women.” Wives…girlfriends…boring. Other women…variety…exciting! I’m guessing it NEVER occurs to them that perhaps the reason their wives and girlfriends are boring is because they’re bored too. Bored with working all day, then coming home to clean the house and cook dinner for a man who sits in his easy chair stuffing his face with the dinner she’s cooked as he stares blankly and silently at a television. I’m also guessing that “cute little chicky other woman” would be equally as bored.

To be fair, there are women who apparently regard their boyfriends and husbands as nothing more than convenient sources of income. Sex for them is an obligation…like cooking, ironing, and raising the kids. The payoff? “This guy is responsible for taking care of me and our children for the rest of our lives…whether we stay together or not.” It’s no wonder men are terrified. There’s nothing attractive or inspiring about that either.

Ina Garten, of The Barefoot Contessa on The Food Network, recently did a show that celebrated her 43rd wedding anniversary. She was making all of her husband’s favorite dishes, and as she cooked, she ruminated on marriage: “What’s the secret to a good marriage? I don’t know. I would hate to have a marriage that you would have to work at…We just have a good time together. He wants me to be happy, I want him to be happy. It’s so simple.”

I have to agree. It seems to me that much of what is missing in relationships these days is good old “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.” A partnership based on love, friendship, and really caring about another person’s feelings equally to one’s own. And throw in a dash of that magical chemistry that can‘t be described or explained.

Once in an interview, the actor Paul Newman was asked why he was faithful to his wife Joanne Woodward, when he was able to have most any woman he wanted. He replied, “Why fool around with hamburger when you have steak at home?” That comment made him sexier and more attractive to me than his beautiful blue eyes or washboard abs ever could. She lit a fire in his heart, and he found joy and excitement in keeping that flame burning. What a man!

Joanne Woodward said of Paul Newman. “Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat." How beautiful!

George and Barbara Bush were on The Today Show on Valentine’s Day. George read a love letter that he wrote to Barbara on their 49th anniversary. He choked back the tears as he read it, and she reached over and patted his arm lovingly. This is what he read…

“Will you marry me? Whoops. I forgot you did that 49 years ago today. I was very happy on that day in 1945, but I’m even happier today. You give me joy that few men know. I’ve climbed perhaps the highest mountain in the world, but even that cannot hold a candle to being Barbara’s husband,” Bush read, his voice cracking. “Little did I know I was only trying to keep up with Barbara Pierce from Onondaga Street in Rye, New York. I love you.”

After so many years, it was obvious that the love, friendship, and respect were still there and as strong as ever.

I’ve watched my Dad, who is 87 years old, come in from working in the garden with a little handful of flowers for my Mom. You can see the expression of love on his face when he gives them to her, and the expression of delight on hers when she accepts them. It warms my heart to see the connection between them that still exists after over sixty years together.

This is what I wish for. I wish we would bring back love. Real love. Grown-up love. Spontaneity. Friendship. Dedication. Partnership. Commitment. Unabashed admiration and respect. Mystical attraction that never wavers. The kind of love that makes us, not more whole, not more complete…but just better. Why must it be so hard?

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day! Or, if you’re single, Happy Look At The Flowers and Gifts Delivered To All Your Attached Friends and Coworkers Day!

So what’s Saint Valentine’s Day all about and why do we mark its occasion every February 14? That’s hard to pin down, as there are many different stories as to the origins of Valentine’s Day, but like many of the holidays we observe, Valentine’s Day has its roots in paganism.

Actually, hundreds of years before the Church altered the day of love in an attempt to rid it of its pagan roots, Romans practiced a pagan celebration in mid-February commemorating young men's rite of passage to the god Lupercus. The young men would draw names of teenage girls from a box and whomever the boy chose would be his companion for the remainder of the year.

The Church, of course, didn’t like the pagan festival and so Pope Gelasius ordered a slight change in the celebration. He did so by filling the box with the names of saints instead of girls and allowing both men and women to draw from the box. The game was to emulate the ways of the saint for the remainder of the year. The Church then found a patron saint by the name of Bishop Valentine for people to celebrate instead of Lupercus.

Bishop Valentine was sent to jail and executed after Claudius II (270 AD) found out he was performing secret marriages. You see, Claudius banned marriage to preserve the number of single men to be soldiers. Claudius, so the story goes, believed that single men made better soldiers. Bishop Valentine disagreed with Claudius and performed secret weddings until he was found out. He was executed on February 14. It was during his time in jail that he wrote his lover a note and signed it, “From Your Valentine.”

And that is how we came to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I know, that's kind of depressing. But it's nice to know that once upon a time there really was a man who believed in love so much he was willing to risk his life for it.

So tonight, while you're celebrating with your hearts desire, or wallowing face down in a gallon of ice cream, remember to give props to Bishop V...

C

Super Bowl XLV - Are You Ready For Some Football?

Perhaps...or maybe you're just ready for a party! Here's a menu that puts a healthy spin on the traditional Super Bowl Sunday menu! Put the chili on the morning of, make the spinach dip the night before, and you won't be slaving away in the kitchen while everybody else is watching the game. Because whether you're for the Packers or the Steelers...or you just want to watch hunky guys in tight pants butt heads...you don't want to miss a single minute of the action!

"TOO GOOD TO BE GOOD FOR YOU" TURKEY CHILI
(serves 8 - only 240 calories per serving!)

Ingredients

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 pound ground turkey
2 (10.75 ounce) cans low sodium tomato soup
1 (10.75 ounce) can diced tomatoes with green chilis
2 (15 ounce) cans kidney beans, drained
1 (15 ounce) can black beans, drained
1 medium onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/2 tablespoon garlic powder
1/2 tablespoon ground cumin
1 pinch ground black pepper
1 pinch ground allspice
salt to taste

Directions

1.Heat the oil in a skillet over medium heat. Place turkey in the skillet, and cook until evenly brown; drain.
2.Coat the inside of a slow cooker with cooking spray, and mix in turkey, tomato soup, diced tomatoes, kidney beans, black beans, bell pepper and onion. Season with chili powder, red pepper flakes, garlic powder, cumin, black pepper, allspice and salt.
3.Cover, and cook 8 hours on Low or 4 hours on High.

SPINACH "SKINNY DIP"
(serves 6)

Ingredients

1 box (10 oz size) frozen chopped Spinach
1 small onion, chopped
3 tablespoons grated Parmesan Cheese
3 tablespoons low fat ranch dressing
1/2 cup light sour cream
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

Directions

Cook spinach according to package directions; drain well and chill.

Pulse onion, cheese, dressing, sour cream, basil, and garlic powder in a blender. Pour into a bowl, stir in the spinach and mix well. Serve chilled, with raw veggies and pita wedges.

PITA WEDGES

Cut pita rounds into quarters and place in a single layer on a baking sheet. Spray lightly with cooking spray and sprinkle with cumin and garlic salt. Place in a preheated oven (400 degrees) and cook for five minutes or until lightly browned.

Game Time - Sunday, February 6, 2011 - 6:30pm ET on FOX

Go Team! C

Ring The Bells That Can Still Ring...

Susan Saint James, today
Susan Saint James, ca. 1976

Susan Saint James was my all-time favorite actress of the 70’s. I loved her as the kooky, quirky but loveable Sally McMillan in McMillan and Wife. In 1979, she starred in the movie Love at First Bite, and in the late 80’s played the part of Kate McArdle on the sit-com Kate and Allie. She retired from acting in her mid-forties, and today is married to NBC television executive Dick Ebersol.

The other day, she and makeup artist Bobbi Brown were on The Today Show, talking to Ann Curry about how the aging process changes your face and body, and how those changes affect your confidence and self-image. Now in her early sixties, she’s chosen not to have cosmetic surgery (facelift, liposuction, etc.) but respects the decision of those who do. Instead, she chooses to eat well, exercise, and to dress and makeup in ways that accentuate her assets and minimize the things that, frankly, aren’t as great as they used to be. She said it’s important for her to look the best she can for the age she is at the moment, and not to struggle with looking like she did thirty years ago.

And she said something else that really struck a cord with me. She said, “I want to ring the bells that can still ring.” I love that! Because as we age, we forget that we still have a multitude of attractive qualities to put out there. We really do still have bells to ring.

Unfortunately, we sometimes look back and wax nostalgically about the way we were. I know I do. I pull out old photos of myself and just sigh, because what I see is a cute, pointy little chin, sun-kissed brown hair instead of gray, and a distinguishable waistline. Then I look at myself in the mirror and think, “what happened?”

Aging requires attitude adjustments, that’s for sure. No, we’re not the way we were. But we can love, nurture, and be grateful for what we are now, which is pretty fabulous, too!

Think of life like a cycle of the sun. When the sun rises, the atmosphere is fresh, dewy and innocent…the day is brimming with possibilities. The mid-day sun is at it’s peak…bright-hot, energetic and powerful. But the sunset! That’s when the sun is it’s most breathtaking! A spectacular, burst of color, dimension and beauty. Every moment, from the beginning to the very end, is exquisite!

Live in that moment, and don’t miss a single one! Ring the bells that can still ring…

C

Planet Carol's Super Smoothie...

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It's when we "break" the "fast" and fuel up our bodies for the day ahead, after eight hours of fasting. So often we skip breakfast, because we're late for work, or we just don't want to deal with the extra calories...or maybe you find eating first thing in the morning unappetizing. Unfortunately, I've never had that problem...I wake up starving!

However, I am occasionally confronted with the time crunch, and I'm always looking for ways to eat healthier. So, I've created the perfect smoothie. It's so yummy, you don't even realize how healthy it is. It's fruity and creamy, cool and refreshing, light but filling. It's packed with vitamins, antioxidants, protein, potassium, and lots of other "good for you" stuff..but not a ton of calories. And if that's not enough, it's incredibly easy to make, and you can drink it in a sippy cup on your way to work!

Planet Carol's Super Smoothie...

1 cup of frozen berries
(I like a mixture of blueberries and strawberries..my boyfriend likes blueberries and mangoes)

1/2 of a frozen banana
(easy..just cut a banana in half and put it in a ziplock bag in the freezer}

1/2 cup of orange juice
(the kind with extra D and calcium)

1/2 cup of plain yogurt
(1/2 cup of skim milk works fine if you don't like yogurt)

a pinch of cinnamon

No need for extra sweetener. Just put the ingredients in a blender and pulse a few times until smooth-ie! Now pour it in your sippy cup and get on the road, girl!

C

Pesto alla Genovese...

Pesto is a sauce originating in Genoa in the Liguria region of northern Italy (pesto alla genovese). The name is the contracted past participle of the Genoese word pestâ (Italian: pestare) which means "to pound, to crush" in reference to the sauce's crushed herbs and garlic.

The ancient Romans ate a cheese spread called moretum which may sometimes have been made with basil. The herb likely originated in North Africa; however, it was first domesticated in India. Basil took the firmest root in the regions of Liguria, Italy and Provence, France. The Ligurians around Genoa took the dish and adapted it, using a combination of basil, crushed garlic, grated hard cheese (parmigiano-reggiano, pecorino, etc.), and pine nuts with a little olive oil to form pesto.

In French Provence the dish evolved into the modern pistou, a combination of basil, parsley, crushed garlic, and grated cheese (optional). However, pine nuts are not included. Pesto did not become popular in North America until the 1980s and 1990s.

Historically, pesto was prepared in a marble mortar with a wooden pestle. The basil leaves were washed, dried, placed in the mortar with garlic and coarse salt, and crushed to a creamy consistency. The pine nuts were added and crushed together with the other ingredients. When the nuts were well-incorporated into the "cream", grated cheese and then olive oil were added and mixed.

Because pesto is a generic term for anything which is made by pounding, there are various other pestos, some traditional, some modern. For this reason, the original (and most common) pesto is now called pesto alla genovese or pesto genovese (both forms are used in both English and Italian), in order to help differentiate the original basil based pesto from alternatives.

If you’re trying to eat healthy, lose weight, or just make something quick and tasty for dinner, pesto is your friend. For years, I’ve enjoyed pesto in pasta or on pizza in restaurants. And I always keep a few jars of pesto, from the specialty foods section of the supermarket, in my pantry. A small jar of pesto, added to a bowl of cooked whole wheat pasta, with coarsely ground pepper and freshly grated parmesan or Romano cheese, is one of the quickest, healthiest, tastiest dishes around. As well as one of the least expensive.

Here are some other ideas for incorporating pesto into your cuisine…

*To the pesto-pasta dish described above, add cooked green peas, asparagus, broccoli, or sautéed mushrooms. Or, throw a handful of fresh spinach leaves into the pasta while it’s cooking, but just before you drain it…long enough for the spinach to wilt.

*Spoon a little pesto over a grilled chicken breast, pork chop, or salmon fillet and serve on a bed of the pesto pasta.

*Cut a pita round into quarters and spread out the triangles on a baking sheet. Brush the tops with a thin layer of pesto and pop in the oven, just long enough to get the pita good and hot.

*Cut a baguette into slices and spread out on a baking sheet. Brush the tops with a thin layer of pesto, then sprinkle a scant teaspoon of chopped black olives and some feta cheese on each slice. Drizzle with a little olive oil. Pop into a pre-heated, 350 degree oven, for about five to seven minutes.

*Mix a little pesto with olive oil, minced garlic, and a few peppercorns to make a dipping sauce for a warm baguette or crusty, rustic Italian bread.

*Mix pesto with low fat mayonnaise, and a touch skim milk to thin it a bit, and spoon over poached salmon. It’s also really good on asparagus.

*Make an omelet. Before folding it over, spoon pesto on the partially cooked eggs, with a little salt and pepper and grated cheese of your choice.

*Spoon a little pesto onto a baked potato, brush on roasted corn on the cob, or stir a spoonful or two into cooked rice or couscous, instead of butter

*Halve a few cherry tomatoes, some olives, and cube up mozzarella cheese in approx. equal amounts. Mix up a little olive oil, a generous amount of pesto, a squeeze of fresh lemon juice, some coarsely ground pepper, and a dash of salt. Pour over the tomatoes, olives and cheese. Marinate, covered, in the refrigerator for at least a couple of hours before serving,

Recently, I decided to go a step further, and make my own pesto. It’s super-easy, and adds extra zing to so many dishes. Want to try making your own? This is the recipe I use. It makes a cup of pesto, and if you store it in the fridge in an air-tight container, it will stay good for at least a week. Just cover it with a layer of olive oil (about 1/8“) Also, if I'm not going to use the whole batch immediately, I put the cheese in as I use it, rather than adding it all in at the beginning. Pesto can be stored in the freezer for up to three months. Just transfer to an air-tight container and drizzle remaining oil over the top. Add the cheese later, when pesto is thawed and ready to use.

Ingredients

2 cups packed fresh basil leaves
2 cloves garlic
1/4 cup pine nuts
2/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil, divided
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1/2 cup freshly grated Pecorino cheese (see Cook's Note)

Directions

Combine the basil, garlic, and pine nuts in a food processor and pulse until coarsely chopped. Add 1/2 cup of the oil and process until fully incorporated and smooth. Season with salt and pepper.
If using immediately, add all the remaining oil and pulse until smooth. Transfer the pesto to a large serving bowl and mix in the cheese.
If freezing, transfer to an air-tight container and drizzle remaining oil over the top. Freeze for up to 3 months. Thaw and stir in cheese.

Buon appetito! C

Making Peace With Dressing Like A Grown-Up...

With age comes wisdom, but it doesn’t make getting dressed any easier. The thing is, we gravitate to the clothes we wore “in the day.” You know, the wonder years when we felt we looked our best. If you are reading this and you’re under thirty, you’ll understand soon enough…

When I was eighteen, I wore skin-tight bell-bottomed jeans and loose flowing tops. I was a bohemian flower child.(without the dirty hair and hairy legs, which I couldn’t abide) Anyway, I loved the clothes. I didn’t have a clue then who I was or what life was about. But I was fit, reasonably attractive, and I looked really great in those jeans. So, why not continue to wear the clothes I felt good in, right?

Hence, the dilemma. Still love the clothes, but now those low rise, hip-hugging jeans that looked so hot in 1969 create an unfortunate muffin top of mushroom cloud proportions, and those ethereal floaty tops look like maternity-wear. And since I’m obviously too old to be having a baby, it confuses people. Somehow, the look just isn’t as charming today as it was in the sixties.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t expect to look like I did when I was eighteen, and I certainly don’t want to BE eighteen again. I’m wiser, more content, and have a respectable amount of self esteem that I’ve earned over the past few decades. I can navigate the ups and downs of life with confidence…way better than I could then. But now that I finally have my shit together, my torso looks like an atomic mushroom cloud. Rats!

So the question is, what to wear? I hate everything that’s supposed to be “age-appropriate” for my demographic. I’m not ready for polyester pants with elastic waistbands. And those tailored navy blue suits are so NOT me. But I may never weigh 120 lbs again, and even if I actually did lose weight, I’m guessing the distribution of the remaining poundage wouldn’t be the same.

But just for fun, let’s say I did lose the weight, and everything miraculously sprang back into the upright position. The wardrobe of my heyday still wouldn’t work. Why? Have you ever approached a female from behind, with “Farrah Fawcett” hair and a smokin-body, wearing a mini-dress and stiletto’s, only to have her turn around to expose the scary, tightly stretched, plump-lipped, heavily made up face of “The Joker?” A middle aged woman desperately trying to look young again? Or in my case…since I refuse to have work done….a somewhat tired-looking face with dark under-eye circles, saggy jowls, and Howdy-Doody lines? That’s why.

Guys don’t get a break either. How many middle-aged men have you seen…in their Tommy Bahama shirts and tight jeans that emphasis the butt that isn’t there anymore because it morphed into a beer belly years ago…riding around in sports cars? You just have to avert your eyes….

When are clothing designers going to wake up and realize that baby boomers make up a majority of the population now? I’m not suggesting they throw the eighteen year olds under the bus. I’m merely pointing out that we boomers need something to wear that falls somewhere between mini-skirts and muu-muus. We want clothing that says, "we've come to grips with the reality that we’re grown ups, but we still want to look cool."

Eileen Fisher kind of gets it. Her clothes are fabulous…stylish but not trendy, age appropriate but not matronly. What she apparently does not get is that we’re not all NYC executives making $100,000 a year. But she’s very successful, so maybe the trend will trickle down to the masses. There has to be a middle ground, and I’m determined to find it. And when I do, you’ll be the first to know!

C