Summertime…and the livin’ is easy! We socialize more…hit the parks…the malls…the outdoor cafes…the road. And summer is when the tee-shirt people come out. You’ve seen them. Heck, you might even be one of them. They have an opinion, and they want you to know it. So they wear their heart on their sleeve…or rather emblazoned across their chest…so you can’t miss it. Here’s a selection of some of my favorites from this summer…so far…ranging from cute…to in-your-face…to tasteless,…to…well…even more tasteless…
- PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ANNOY THOSE OF US WHO DO -
The woman wearing this one was large and in charge. Don’t challenge her…she’s headed toward the buffet and she looks hungry and pissed-off.
- YES, I’M A BITCH…I’M JUST NOT YOUR BITCH -
Was there ever any doubt?
- KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY TUTS -
(Two faces of King Tut, strategically placed over the girls)
Actually, this one was mine. I got it years ago at the King Tut Exhibit in NOLA. Obviously a desperate cry for help…
- HAVE A DAY -
(A happy face with a straight line for a mouth, instead of a smile)
Also mine. For those days when I really want to bitch slap those clueless, bright-eyed, eternally optimistic people who apparently aren’t aware that it’s 110 degrees outside, and that I’m in the throes of a raging hot flash.
- GIVE PEAS A CHANCE -
(Cute little green pea happy faces)
A shout out to potential vegetarians everywhere. Less effective than a bloody lamb strung up by it’s hind legs, but still compelling.
- HELL IS SO HOT THIS TIME OF YEAR -
A thinly veiled slam at those annoyingly, pretentious creeps who avoid St.Tropez in the off season. Read between the lines…it’s says, “Get a job! Oh, that’s right, you don’t need to work…you’ve got people to do it for you.”
- SHHH…I’M TALKING TO GOD -
Is it reciprocal, or are you just asking for more stuff again?
- I’D TELL YOU TO GO TO HELL, BUT I WORK THERE AND WOULDN’T WANT TO SEE YOU EVERYDAY -
A job that sucks AND a chip on her shoulder. Chill, Babe…
- THE MAN - (arrow pointing up) THE LEGEND - (arrow pointing down)
You just KNOW this guy hasn’t been laid for months.
- MABEL’S WHOREHOUSE…WHERE THE CUSTOMER ALWAYS COMES FIRST -
I don’t know if it’s a real whorehouse or just a gift shop, but I’m all about coming first, regardless of what they’re selling.
- HOPE YOU’RE HAVING A GREAT SUMMER! -
No, that’s not a tee-shirt! I really mean it!