Thanks, Mom...

I woke up yesterday feeling blue. It was my Mom’s eighty-sixth birthday. She passed away a few months ago, so this year I had to celebrate her birthday without her.

I just got back a few days ago from a visit with my Dad in Mississippi. While I was there I went by Mom’s gravesite for the first time since her funeral. It was so strange being at their house without her there. And it was even stranger to sit on a headstone and realize that my mother was under that mound of still-fresh earth. Yesterday, on her birthday, I just missed her.

I thought about her off and on all day. The weather was relentlessly hot and the air-conditioning at work wasn’t working properly. When I got home last night, I was hot, sweaty, and tired. All I could think of was a cool shower, and iced tea and pizza in bed, watching HGTV. I dug through my dresser drawer for a clean tee shirt and leggings. I haven’t slept in pajamas or a night gown since I was a kid.

Underneath the usual stack of black tee shirts, I found something odd…something pastel pink and blue and plaid. Strange…I never wear pastel anything…especially plaid. I pulled it out of the drawer.

It was pajamas. My Mom’s pajamas. My mind drifted back to a time, several years ago, when my parents came to visit me at my home in Nashville. Mom was always worried about the fact that I didn’t sleep in pajamas. She didn’t think yoga pants and a tee shirt were proper, comfortable sleeping attire. On this particular trip, she brought an extra pair of her pajamas for me to sleep in. She was adamant. I was exasperated. But I wore them that night to make her happy, then I put them in the drawer after they left and never wore them again, But I kept them…

So yesterday, after my shower, I put on Mom’s pink and blue plaid pj’s. They’re so “not me,” and yet…there was something so comforting about wearing them. They are light-weight, cool, and comfortable…and they look like my Mom. Somehow it felt like she was there, taking care of me. I slept in the elastic waisted pants and a camisole, and hugged the baggy top while I watched tv. I’m so glad I kept them…

Thanks, Mom. Hope you had a Happy Birthday! I love you…

C